It’s okay to want to be a working mom. No, really–it is!
Today’s post is about being a working mom, because I am one. That does not mean that I believe all moms should or should not work. It does not mean that being a stay at home mom is worse or better than working. I think ALL moms work hard, in or out of the home. Period.
Alright. Back to it.
When Harlyn was born 5 years ago, I headed back to work around 5 weeks postpartum. It wasn’t ideal, but my job needed me, and I could take Harlyn with me while I was in new mom mode. By the time Maverick came around, I knew I wanted (and needed) more time off, so I took 8 or 9 weeks off. But then, it was time to head back to work. And I. was. Ready.
If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I was made to work outside our home.
Here’s a few things I’ve learned over the past five years and what I often remind myself of when mom guilt creeps in.
1.The kids of working moms are not suffering.
It’s true. Kids of working moms still have great lives. Sure, we may cook a little less and never design a sensory bin activity our whole life, but it doesn’t mean that our kids are unhappy.
2. Daycare is okay.
We’ve had a lot of different childcare situations over these past 5 years. We’ve used a home daycare. Then B’s parents watched our kids for 4 year. Harlyn did half day preschool for the past 2 years. And most recently, we put Maverick in a regular daycare and enrolled Harlyn in various summer camps. You know what has always been true in all these situations? Our kids made it. They spent 40+ hours away from us each week and lived to tell the tale. (And a quick side note–I recently did a whole post on finding child care. You can find that HERE.)
3. Children of working moms adapt easily.
I have heard horror stories of kids who just couldn’t deal with preschool or kindergarten because they’d never been away from mom before. Like, unenroll the kids or stay for hours with them stories. Um. No thank you. My kids may fight us about not wanting to go, but guess what? Approximately 2.3 seconds after we leave–they are just fine and enjoy the day. And thankfully, school has never been an issue for Harlyn. For some reason, summer camp has been. But we’re making it through!
4. I’m modeling womanhood and motherhood for my kids.
My kids will grow up knowing that there are different ways to be a woman and a mom. Not all of us do it the same way, and that is a good thing! If my daughter wants to run her own company, she’ll know she can do that while being a mommy if she desires both things. If my son marries a woman who wants to stay home, he’ll know that’s good too, even though he didn’t grow up like that.
5. I am not built for SAHM life.
Sometimes, when I look around and see all the other moms in yoga pants on a Tuesday morning, those old feelings can surface. I’ll start to feel like I’m the ONLY working mom everrrrr. And then I slap myself in the face (not literally, of course!) and remind myself that I am not interested in SAHM life. I don’t have the kind of patience it takes to stay home with young kids. I don’t have the stamina. I want adult interaction. I want to have projects and tasks at the office. It’s just who I am. And that is totally okay.
Do you work outside the home, from home, or is your job raising those babies?